I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
