This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
