Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
