Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
