I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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