do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
