Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
