MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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