I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
