Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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