There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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