That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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