It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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