I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
