She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
