Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
