And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
