I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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