yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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