I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize