Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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