all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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