I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
