i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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