If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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