**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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