What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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