I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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