I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize