guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
