That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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