capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
