u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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