Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
