Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
