...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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