We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
