I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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