I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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