is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
