ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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