I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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