I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
