it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
