living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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