laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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