Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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