I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
