i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found puke in my bra..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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