Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
