i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
