Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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