Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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