I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
