I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize