I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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