marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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