So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
