i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
