My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
